Then My Living Shall Not Be In Vain ...

     It is interesting that when someone dies it causes us to look back on our own self worth. We wonder if our family and friends will be sad or glad that we have “passed on”. Now both could be ok depending on how you look at it. If they are sad, it could mean they loved us so much and are missing us being physically with them but that the memories are good. Or it could mean they are sad we died before they would get back whatever we owed them or that our death means they have to find someone to “borrow” from. They could be glad that we are no longer suffering through some painful illness and glad because they know we died in the arms of Jesus and our eternal soul is saved forever. They could, also, be glad that we are gone because we were miserable and mean spirited and made everyone around us miserable and because of our death, they can now live in peace and tranquility – without us.

     I often ask different ones (especially my sons) if I made a difference in their lives – good, bad or indifferent. I want to know if I am making a good legacy – if others will remember and be happy that they knew me – that I was a positive part of their lives.

     Now there will always be those that will love you no matter what and those that will hate you no matter what. The people in your life that fall in the middle are the ones that will be able to say what type of person you truly were.

     Make a positive impact on the lives of others now. You have talents and resources that God has given you, not only to benefit you, but to benefit those around you. Use them to help someone see life in a better light. Use them to glorify God.

     When you get a chance, read the Beatitudes located in the Holy Bible, Matthew 5:1–12. Many people feel that these are just riddles or stories Jesus told for that day. They are virtues that teach us today how we should live our lives and treat others. The entire chapter speaks of how we should form our character and the type of attitude we should portray in our daily lives. If we live by these principles we will create a legacy that will show God throughout our lives and in every endeavor we pursue.

     Allow yourselves, through these values, to become the “salt of the earth”. Build a righteous legacy so that the memory of you will be full of flavor and joyous times. If you choose to live a stagnate life and ignore the negative impression of you that other see, then your legacy will be tasteless and your memory thrown out into the street for people to walk on. (paraphrase from Matt 5:13).

     In the last month three people I had grown to love and admire have passed on. Fortunately for them and me, they were good men of God and spent their lives serving Him and man. Two of the men died from prolong illness and had time to say goodbye to their loved one. The third young man was in his late 30s and died suddenly, without any warning. I know that he will be surely missed because he had such a Godly spirit and everyone enjoyed his presence in their lives.

     We do not know when our last moments of life will be. There may be no opportunity for goodbyes or I’m sorries. We should use the time we have now to make our lives and the lives of the people around us better. Legacies are not about how much money or physical property we leave behind. Our legacy will be made of the memories that others have for us and how we touched their lives. I remember that one of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s favorite songs was “If I Can Help Somebody”. Every morning my prayer is that God will put me in the path of someone that I can help and everyday He does. I can not give anyone high self esteem but I try to always have kind words and actions to lift someone’s spirit and an offer of prayer for everyone.

     I believe as Dr. King (and as I did, you should substitute your name and particulars for his):

“If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, PLEASE tell them not to talk too long.

I'd like somebody to mention that day that I, AudreyAnn Coats Moses, tried to give my life serving God by serving man.

I'd like for somebody to say that day that I, AudreyAnn Coats Moses, tried to love everybody - even people that refuse to love me.

I want you to say that day that I tried to be right on the war, abortion, homosexuality, religion, politics, and any other social question.

I want you to be able to say that day that I did try to feed the hungry.

And I want you to be able to say that day that I did try in my life to clothe those who were naked.

I want you to say on that day that I did try in my life to visit those who were in prison.

I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.

I want you to say that I tried in my life to show people God.

Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice… for peace… for righteousness… all of the other shallow things will not matter – money – prestige and luxurious things of life... “(excerpts from The Drum Major Instinct Sermon, February 4^th 1968).

     The most spiritually gratifying legacy anyone can leave behind is the memory of a committed and righteous life. My hope is that when people remember me they will be able to say that my living was not in vain.

…Then my living shall not be in vain

Then my living shall not be in vain

If I can help somebody, as I pass along

Then my living shall not be in vain …

This blog is written in fond memory of:

Mr. Myron Holly

Mr. Robert Baldwin

Mr. Felix Cobb

Balcony or Basement ...

     My friend and colleague, Dr. Adolph Brown, III, (www.docspeaks.com) would always say to our staff and students, “You have a choice in the position you want to take in this organization and in life … Balcony or Basement”.  I will give you a moment to scratch your head on that one while I tell you the story of Mr. B and Ms. B.

     Once upon a time there were two people, Ms. B and Mr. B, who were very talented in their professions.  They were both blessed by God to “rise up in the ranks” of they respective organizations. Many people helped them along the way towards their success. Soon they were in a position to reach out and touch others.

     Let us first look at the type of help they received. They both came from a fairly traditional American home (if there is such a thing these days) you know …father, mother, sister, brother, dog, cat, food, clothing and shelter … Neither were extremely poor or wealthy families – like I said “an average American family”. They both did fairly well in school. However, school is also where they parted ways. You see, in school, their lives were not equal. Ms. B struggled because she was not very strong in math and science and she happen to have math and science teachers that felt it was not as important for girls to be strong in these subjects as boys. She had to work extremely hard to remain competitive and to keep her grades up. Mr. B did not have that issue; he was given a tutor and he was given extra attention concerning his future plans. No one was very impressed with Ms. B’s career choice and it showed in the amount of assistance she received from teachers and counselors.

     Let’s move ahead a few years. Mr. B and Ms. B both graduated with honors and full scholarships to the university of their choice and in the fields of their choice. Again, Mr. B’s university catered to his academic needs by provided the necessary tools he needed to be success. Ms. B’s university also provided the same necessary tools, however, Ms. B chose a career that is not a “traditional” field for a woman; therefore, she was, again, not given the full attention of her advisors and counselors. Many times she was told that she might consider a less “arduous” field of study. However, she maintained her position and worked diligently towards her goal. The day came when both Mr. B and Ms. B graduated, again with honors in their respective fields. Throughout their careers they both had ups and down, but were able to achieve their goals and were employed by the finest organizations. 

     Mr. B was able to move quickly because he was “always in the right place at the right time”. He was very competitive and very dogmatic in his approach to every situation. This attitude also was evident in his personal life, especially with his sons. He felt that their struggles were self made because they did not press hard towards the mark. He offered some assistance but basically expected them to figure it out for themselves. After all, no one "really" helped him - he had to pull himself up by his own bootstraps. He studied and worked very hard to get where he is and they should do the same. At work, he had the same attitude with his staff. He felt it was not his responsibility to pull them up. Although his employers were very pleased with his work and his dedication to the organization, they were not impressed with his lack of interest in the needs of those less fortunate. He did not make himself available to help his staff and volunteered as little time as possible in the various community projects sponsored by his organization. His stance in life was that he worked hard to get where he was and others should do the same.

     Ms. B had many struggles because of the career field she chose. She had to “prove” herself on every end. With every assignment she was given she worked hard, asked the right questions and soon proved that she was exactly where she was suppose to be. Her supervisors were always impressed, not only with her actual performance, but more so with her strength and her humility which explained her determination and ability to walk alongside any man in the organization. They were also impressed with her passion for helping others in the field. Because of her struggle in math and science, she volunteered as a tutor in the local high school and at her church.  She also became a mentor to young people, especially girls, who were interested in her field. What amazed them more than anything was her ability to take off her work hat at the end of every day and become a devoted wife and mother. Her stance in life was that regardless of the assistance, or lack of assistance, she received along her path, it all helped her to be where she is today. She feels that it is her responsibility to help young people understand that hard work is a good thing and that you should always want to reach back and help someone walk their path.

     So now are you still scratching your head about the basement / balcony thing?  Well, let me break it down for you. As we look at the characteristics of the basement / balcony concept we see that people chose their position in life. Basement / balcony people come from all types of lifestyles, race and ethnic background, religion and socioeconomic status. Everyone chooses to accept or not accept assistance in achieving their life goals. Everyone decides what their responsibility is to others. Basement people are the ones that feel they are where they are only because of their efforts or lack of effort. They feel that they achieved their goals with very little assistance from others or that they did not achieve their goals because of the lack of assistance from others and that others prevented them from realizing their achievements. Basement people feel that people who were in a position to help them were doing their job – nothing more. Basement people feel that they are not responsible for anyone else’s success and in some cases will allow them to fail as oppose to help them. 

     Balcony people obviously are the exact opposite. They recognize that they would not be where they are without the efforts, both negative and positive, of others. They recognize that they are where they are because of the choices they made and that those choices paved the road they walked. Balcony people believe that it is their responsibility to set an example for others by performing their daily task with their highest caliber of integrity. They also innately believe that it is their responsibility to help others achieve. Just as they had to stand on the shoulders of someone to move up, now their shoulders are to become the ladder for someone coming up behind them. They believe that a smile brightens up a day and the lives of many and that a listening ear can move mountains.

     Mr. B and Ms. B both had good and bad influences that helped them to get where they are today. Mr. B had no struggles because everyone he needed was right there for him. He had to prove to his employers that he was capable of the job, but he did not have to fight for his right to be where he was. Ms. B, on the otherhand, had several struggles because she was a woman in a man’s world. She had to work hard and she had to prove her position. Overtime she was able to show people that she was capable and that others coming up behind her were also capable. It should be obvious that Mr. B portrays the characteristics of a basement person and that Ms. B portrays the characteristics of a balcony person. 

     There are many examples in the Bible that portray both basement and balcony personalities. However, even if you are not a bible reading person you know the “golden rule” which is Matthew 7:12 (taken from the Clear Word Bible translation) – “So do the same good things for others that you would want them to do for you. That’s what the law and the prophets are all about”. Also if you just read about the life of Christ you will see that He lived His life teaching and showing others how they should live and help others in order to have a better life.

     Which character are you – Basement or Balcony?